A Message to Family Members & Friends
Reprinted with permission, from the book "Memory
Problems?", produced by the Early Stage Support Groups in the North/Central
Okanagan Region of the Alzheimer Society of B.C., created by people with
dementia for people with dementia. For more information, visit
or call 1-800-667-3742.
don't correct me. I know better - the information just isn't available to
me at the moment.
my feelings are intact and I get hurt easily.
know when the wrong word comes out, and I'm as surprised as you are.
people to speak a little slower on the telephone.
ignore off-hand remarks that I wouldn't have made in the past. If you
focus on it, it won't prevent it from happening again. It just makes me
I may say
something that is real to me but may not be factual. I am not lying, even
if the information is not correct. Don't argue, it won't solve anything.
If I put
my clothes on the chair or the floor, it may be because I can't find them
in the closet.
If you can
anticipate that I am getting into difficulty, please don't draw attention
to it, but try to carefully help me through it so nobody else will be
aware of the problem.
At a large
gathering, please keep an eye on me because I can get lost easily! But
please don't shadow my every move. Use gentle respect to guide me.
you give me the message that you think I am faking these problems. What
you don't see is my terrible confusion and my hurt knowing how you feel.
mean to frustrate you. I know you get impatient and tired of telling me
things three times in a row. Please be patient.
what I think or want. Don't assume that you know.
still love you, even if I am having trouble showing it.
Page last updated
Sunday October 31, 2004
Questions? Comments? Contact